A Letter to Bob Costas and Katie Couric
August 14, 2004
Shut up. No, seriously, shut up. If the Olympics Opening Ceremony had been a movie, and we’d been in a theater, the entire audience would have beaten you to death.
Katie, instead of giving us a crash course on ancient Greek civilization, I’d prefer it if you would shut up. Bob Costas, you might be interested to learn that some Americans know what a Cycladic Head is. Some of us have actually studied art. As such, you could really just shut up instead of giving us a history lesson.
The opening ceremonies were pretty spectacular, huh? I wonder what it was like to be there and witness them in person. I almost got the feeling of being there; or I should say, I would have, if you had just shut up and let me take it all in. Unfortunately for us, you regard silence not as a time to process the art you are witnessing, but as an empty void which you feel compelled to fill with the sound of your voices.
Katie, when the athletes representing a country you’ve never heard of enter the stadium wearing particularly interesting or colorful garments, they are not costumes. They are likely the traditional dress of their culture. So instead of talking about them like they’re in a high school production of The King and I, just shut up.
Katie and Bob, equally: if you do not know how to pronounce an athlete’s name, shut up.
I heard that when the American delegation entered, the CBC broadcasters spent most of their time discussing the doping controversy involving some of our country’s athletes. That seemed bad until you, Bob, spent the entire duration of Canada’s time on screen discussing not Canada, or Canadian athletes, but a Greek doping controversy. Instead of blathering on about something completely unrelated to what was happening on-screen, it would have been more helpful if you had shut up.
Bob Costas, if the only thing that you can think of when you hear the word “Somalia” is “Black Hawk Down,” please, please, shut up.
I was wondering if one of you could tell me what Björk’s song, Oceania, was like. But then I remembered why you don’t know any more about it than I do: because the whole time Björk was singing, you would not shut up about her dress so I could hear the song.
Here’s something that, as celebrities, you might not have had to learn yet. America is a country of immigrants, many of whom speak multiple languages. You might then shut up in the future when someone is giving a speech simultaneously in Greek, French, and English, instead of reading us your English copy of the speech just seconds before the speaker says it in English himself. Bonus points if you shut up instead of expressing your “great relief” when they stop speaking in a language that you do not understand.
Katie and Bob, your inane banter made me want to claw my eyes out. That was not my expected reaction to watching what was, aside from the two of you, a really fantastic opening ceremony. Tonight you proved that neither of you are terribly bright, but if you can remember something for the next four years, I’d appreciate it. It would save us all a lot of heartache in Torino and Beijing. Shut up.
Sincerely,
The Citizens of the United States of America
P.S. Shut up.
truly brainless commentary from both Katie and Bob, throughout.
Bravo, Matt.
While I am of a graying generation raised to fear getting my mouth washed out (or, in adolesence, my butt paddled) if I used the “f” word in public once, let alone 13 times, the rest of your post is right on.
And you didn’t even mention: (1) Costas’ totally sinful, in my opinion, pronunciation of “Eritrea;” (2) his ignorance of Belize, which he called an island nation; and (3) his and Katie’s haggling over the bonus offered to Singaporeans for winning a medal in Athens, only to conclude the argument was pointless because no one from that country was going to win anything anyway.
I’d say banish him to Belize, but that’s too good for him, so let’s try Eritrea! And just to prove them wrong, GO SINGAPORE!
See Matt, you can make your point without the “f” word :)
cc: Dick Cheney
Keith
Keith, In the spirit of Olympic civility, and because I have actually had my mouth washed out with soap—literally, but most because I think it will improve my Google rank, I’ve amended my article to use a phrase less offensive, although still punishable by my nanny, good friend, and surrogate mother Mary Maude. Thanks for reminding me of what she would have thought.
I am a little speechless about the Belize thing; I admit that I muted the television at several points during the show. Looks like I missed some Comedy Gold there. I’d actually pay money to see the opening ceremony sans commentary and NBC’s overzealous editing. It looks like it was pretty great.
Go Singapore!
I didn’t view the afforementioned commentary on the opening ceremony so I can not comment on how stupid it was. However, I take great joy in telling stupid people to shut up, so…SHUT YOUR “FREAKIN” (i am being sensitive to the current political climate here on iammattthomas) MOUTHS… you skank ass bitches.
apparently King Kaufman, of King Kaufman Sports Daily on Salon.com had the same idea as you: “Note to Bob Costas and Katie Couric: Shut up when Björk, or anyone else for that matter, is singing.”
I love it !!! Have fun in Nola, and take a picture.
NORTH CAROLINA !!!!!!
(no jackass, don’t take off your shirt !)
thelastwebsiteonearth.com
THANK YOU!
Dear Bob & Katie & NBC & General Electric:
I missed the opening ceremonies and Bjork’s song. I was so looking forward to it, but I forgot all about it. Apparently, it is no big deal, after all, since you both did your best to utterly ruin and trivialize it. I know, Bob, that your are a sports trivia guru, but sometimes, it is wise to allow your mind to take in new information, e. g., when one of the greatest artists of our time is singing a song. When our national anthem is playing, I noticed that NBC’s peeps shut up. Why Bjork did not deserve the same respect bothers me. I know the media does not respect much, but hopefullly this little episode will raise awareness that media types need to show respect to artists. Freedom of the press and freedom of speech are co-equal rights. Your denial of Bjork’s right to express herself to the American people was fascistic. If you wanna talk about her swan dress, save it until after her song. Speaking of trivia, Bob and Katie, have you heard of “dorkis maximus”? I have.
Truly,
Mike Wrathell, Esq.
http://ultra-renaissance.com (my art page)
Did you mail NBC a copy? I sent a letter myself, I was so disgusted.
Good job, citizen. I salute you!
/bookmarked!
I do not think that Bob Costas has slept since the beginning of the Olympics. Every time I have seen his segment he takes a long blank stare into the camera for about 30 seconds before speaking. He kind of looks like the Meth-heads they always show on COPS. I think Bob should be tested for performance enhancing drugs because no one has ever been able to ruin the Olympics quite like this besides the Atlanta Bomber and Tonya Harding.
Did anyone hear Paul Hamm speak after he won the Gold medal? He sounds like a twelve year old girl.
“dorkus maximus” is an outdated obsolete term. The term you are looking for is “dorkus malorkus”, it is latin i believe.
your remark about the wreseling referee was uncalled for as in judo,karate.the oficials wear suits or blazers.to add class.something you wouldnt know about.VLAKA!
Who the hell are you talking to?
Well, in fairness, NBC’s biggest problems may have been early on. I still am having mega-problems with Bob’s and Katie’s inane comments at the Opening Ceremonies, but as time went on, NBC did at least begin to pick up some kudos for addressing controversies like that of Mr. Hamm head-on, and not sweeping them under the rug as I guess some broadcasters have been accused of in earlier Games.
I’m glad they gutted it out and tried to improve after such a dismal start.
Maybe Belize has rejoined the mainland.
But (inside joke for those of you who saw the opening), the Central African Republic remains, so far as I know, in Central Africa!
While the coverage of the opening ceremonies wasn’t spectacular I must say that the coverage that NBC gave was 100% better than what we got in Greece. I went over for the games and the coverage on ET1, ET2 and ET3 was beyond awful. I coulddn’t wait to get back to the States for NBC’s coverage. The coverage in Greece would cut away during critical moments in the events. While watching the MATCH point of a beach volleyball game (semifinals) they cut away to commercial and never came back to show or at least let us know how it turned out. Also while watching a baseball game, bottom of the 9th they did the same thing, cut away to commercial never to come back or at least let us know what happened. And they had some strange facination with equistrian and kayaking when they could have been showing much more popular events (swimming and gymnastics were on at the same time). So while it is easy to be critical of NBC, and they could have improved, Katie and Bob can be very annoying, it was much better than the alternative.
Arugh! Costas still can’t pronounce anything! And it’s four years later! The addition of Matt Lauer has not helped AT ALL.
They are both worthless. Bob is ashamed to talk about his greek heritage and all he has to say about Greece and Greeks is negative. And talking about Couric….not only she was treated in Greece like a queen in many occasions, she had the audacity to call the cheer leaders in beach volleyball a cheesy thing. That was all she had to say. I am wondering where cheerleading was born, Couric.
I just did a Google search for “why did bob costas have to talk through the entire olympic opening ceremony?” and I found this page. I wanted to reach into the television and choke him.
Wow. I was reading it as if you were talking about the 2008 olympic games. Costa has done it again this year with his ridiculous amount of political babbling at the olympic games. they should throw him in the torch next time.
Remember when the crowd cheered the American athletes? Bob Costas read the collective minds of the crowd, telling us (exact words escape me), “They’re cheering for the american athletes, not the American government.”
Matt,
Can you please comment on the latest round of Bob Costas commentary and the Olympics? Talk about insensitive to the host country and just the worst diplomatic skills I’ve seen since, well, lately (I won’t go into that one). I mean, I realize the guy knows his sports stats, but can we please replace this joker with a more global person as opposed to his baseball-only type of nostalgia applied to the Olympic venue?
Dan
Headhunter,
Funny you should mention that, I just scrolled up and saw your note. This time round, I googled “Bob Costas olympics big mouth” and found this. He strikes again. Please help…I’m a first-time poster on anything…that should illustrate the feelings here.
Dan
Honestly I can’t comment on the 2008 ceremonies—I was busy, and I watched most of it with the sound turned off. I didn’t really expect that replacing Couric with Lauer would change much, but at least they attempted to bring in someone who knew something about China for the creative part of the ceremony. Not that it sounds like it helped.