No Pain
October 5, 2006
Some of my more astute superfans may have noticed that I finally took the plunge last week, joining the local “wellness center” and getting hitched to a new personal trainer. My first experience with working out in Baltimore was a successful one, but it was followed by seven months of pure loafing leaving me, frankly, fatter than ever.
I’ve known for a while that something had to change, as my steadfast dedication to the “sit around and hope something changes” diet was simply refusing to pay dividends.
I’m strength training with Michelle, my new right-hand-girl, twice a week, and doing cardio a soul-crushing five days a week. The work of exercising itself pales in comparison to the pain I’ve endured in getting started. My enormous hulk of a body is not used to doing this, and I’m chafing, blistering, boiling, and spurring pretty much everywhere imaginable now. Band-aids, Gold Bond, Neosporin, and Aleve are my only friends now.
Because everything I do has to involve an Apple logo in some way, I picked up an iPod nano and the Nike + iPod Sport Kit to help keep track of my cardio progress. I’ve only had it for a few days, but have decided to post my progress here, in an attempt to publicly shame myself into keeping up with it and, hopefully, improving.
So far, I’ve completed three walks for a total of 6.08 miles. My average pace is 22’19”. My farthest walk is 2.68mi. My fastest mile is 21’07”. I have burned 2,058 calories.
Now, I’ll either become svelte and studly, or flame out in a chocolate-fueled blaze of glory. Stay tuned to find out what happens.
Stick with it and I am sure it will pay off in the end. But me I am staying with the chocolate and bon bons.
Kick ass. Good for you. It would be interesting to show progress pics. I mean if you’re into that. Can’t remember if you are a picture posting kind of fella.
Oh god, progress pictures. No, I don’t think my ego has been deflated enough yet to allow me to do that. It’s the same reason I’m doing this on my own, as opposed to trying to get on “The Biggest Loser.” Suffice to say that if this works, I have my “before” pictures already picked out.